so you want to be a doctor....

medical school is hard.  i know, thank you captain obvious.  but seriously, going into it you know that, everyone tells you that, you expect it, yet it still hits you every day just how hard it is.  we are heading into the final stretch of year two and I will be pretty glad to finish this chapter.  i try not wish my time away but this one is difficult.  at the end of year two we take step one of our medical school boards.  yes, step one, meaning that there are multiple board exams that we get to take and this is the first one.  we are constantly tested in medical and somehow no matter how much or hard you study there is always more to know.  this test comes with an increasing amount of pressure.  i am constantly reminded of how important this result is.  i must first pass step one to be allowed to continue to third year, a given, but also it is this early in the process, just half way through school, that much of our path as a physician is decided.  the score on this one test will play a role in what my options for residency are.  it is a cloud constantly hanging over my head.  over the next two weeks we have 6 tests in various classes mostly focused on different aspects of hematology and I try to stay focused on these exams, looking at them as studying for step one, but in the back of my mind all i can think about is BOARDS!  after these tests we have spring break and the debate among my classmates: to study or relax?  we know that the following three months will be nothing but intense study, can we afford a week to prepare our minds for that?  for me the question is complicated by the fact that i am currently 36 weeks pregnant!  yep, we are having a baby!  so my spring break plan.... have this baby!  people keep asking me if I have my hospital bag packed yet... nope; do i have the nursery ready....nope; do i have a birth plan.... um.... have the baby at the hospital; but i do know a lot about red blood cells....

wife, 3 sweet dogs, a little boy on the way, and medical school.  i am a very lucky girl.  this year will be about balance.  balance between my home life and school.  we (the man and I) have a ton to figure out about the next year with him working full time and me starting my 3rd year of medical school but for now one day at a time.

this moment

{this moment} - "A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see."

Finally, an update...

Life has taken many turns over the last year.  When I started this online journal I was working at a bike shop, baking, running, biking, gardening and basically doing anything fun that I could get into.  It was beautiful.  Then I started medical school.  I am not complaining.  I am lucky to have gotten a spot and am fortunate to have all of the opportunities in life that I have had.  I truly feel blessed, something to easily lose sight of while surviving on coffee and 3-5 hours of sleep a night.  My time has taking a 180 degree turn from having physical and creative outlets to studying and studying and studying.  It has been a very hard adjustment for me and my husband.  My wonderful, beautiful, sweet, constantly supportive husband.  I am at school 2hours from home and he still has his job there.  We spend weekends together and usually one night a week.  He works hard all week and then comes and takes care of me.  Keeps me from eating cheese and crackers for dinner every night and keeps me in clean clothes.  I really dont think I could survive this experience without him.

Surviving medical school is an experience that is hard to convey in words, but I would like to try.  I am in my second year and need to rediscover my creative self.  I have been missing so much that part of me.  It is so easy to slip into a dark void where weeks pass without seeing sunlight, without talking to people, having no idea what is happening in the outside world.  Part of what is finally inspiring me into picking up my web journal again was listening to NPR this morning.  I had this realization when I woke up and heard that today was the election!  Seriously I had no idea that today we are voting for the president of our country.  In the midst of learning pelvic exams, birth, defects, reproductive problems the world outside of school has been completely lost to me.

If you have seen my blog before I guess it will be a little different.  I will still post about the fun things  my husband and puppies do but I will also try to give some insight into the life of a medical student... or at least my life as a medical student.  So bare with me, ask questions if you want, and hopefully follow along on this crazy journey.  I have many things to update on but I think this has gotten long enough for now....I will leave you with some nice pictures from home.

So welcome to year 2 of medical school!

This Week's Moment

{this moment} - "A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see." Inspired by SouleMama.

This week's moment

{this moment} - "A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see." Inspired by SouleMama.

Finding Balance

This year my life has had a lot of change.  I started my first year of medical school last August.  I knew it would be hard and I knew it would be busy, but really before you are in it you have no idea.  I went from having all the time I wanted for the things that are important to me such as biking, running, cooking, taking pictures, playing with my dogs, and spending time with my wonderful friends & family, to debating if I have enough time to take a shower or brush my hair.  All of the importants of my life, of me, had to take a back seat.  I averaged 3-5hrs sleep per night, running 1-3 times a week, and eating cheese & crackers for dinner.  I realized how lucky I had been in the past to do so much, to have such wonderful people in my life, to learn what is important to me and how it keeps me whole.  During school I did all I could to hold on to some of those things but you never get to do as much as you want.  I am blessed to have such beautiful friends that did not give up on me.  Running kept me sane and my husband held me together.  This year I want to do a better job of taking care of myself by fitting in more of these things.  I would also like to do a better job of maintaining this blog.  So as I begin my second year of medical school I have many goals but I realize that learning to be a doctor has to be the highest priority (along with my family and close friends).  I am passionate about the things I do and medical school is no exception.  I dont want to be an ok doctor, or a good doctor, I want to be a great doctor, so the sacrifices I make now will be to reach that goal but I need to hold on to the parts of my life that make me who I am, that keep me whole and happy.  So this year I will find balance....

Portlandia!