Monday, August 26, 2013

Laugh Your Diaper Off

video
This is my first video upload, so hopefully I can make it work.  When people ask me how old my little boy is the next questions are usually about his development and how much he is interacting at this point.  At 4mo according to my board review book he should be: lifting up on hands, rolling front to back, no head lag if pulled to sitting position, reaching for objects, looking at his hands and working toward toys, and most of all laughing and squealing!  All of which he is on track for.  Everett has always been pretty active and cheerful.  Everyone asks if he is smiling and laughing.  This is still one of my favorite things, sometimes he gets laughing so hard that he cant stop and it turns into high pitch squeals of excitement. He is so happy and good natured.  I am such a lucky girl.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Pirate Pants and Bicycle Shoes




Everett is getting big so fast.  He is getting close to 5mo already!  Every day is a new adventure with him.  I am so lucky to have such a wonderful, healthy, beautiful little boy.  I am still trying to figure out how to put him in a bubble to keep him safe and how to make sure that he never out grows hanging out with me.  Right now this is our favorite outfit.  I found his comfy pirate pants in a little shop called Tart in Bozeman, Montana.  They are made by REcreate Designs.  His bicycle shoes are from Little Pitterpat.  I love them.  They are the only things I have been able to keep on his feet.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

mom vs. medical school

i constantly feel like i am in a battle and spread thin.  i never knew how much i could be so completely, head over heals, in love with anyone (aside from my wonderful husband) until Everett.  every smile he gives me feels like the most precious gift and every time i walk away from him to study it breaks my heart a little.  i am wrapping up year 2 of medical school.  i have one exam left and then the first step of boards and i have never had so much doubt in my life.  it is something that every woman faces: career or family.  i know, we can have both but medicine is more than a career, it is a life, you have a life in medicine.  i have made many sacrifices up to this point and it is really just the beginning.  the next 5 years would be filled with long work hours and very little family time.  so i look at the road ahead and wonder, is that what i want?  do i really want to sacrifice seeing my little boy be a little boy?  when i finish residency he would be starting kindergarden and i will have missed it.  someone else will see him walk for the first time, talk for the first time, tuck him in at night and get to dry his little boy tears.  people think i am crazy for thinking about "quitting" medical school.  i have worked very very hard to get here but i guess i dont look at it like quitting.  i look at it like a choice of how i want my life to look.  i have proven to myself i can do this, it is a matter of whether it is right for me and my family at this point.  i wanted a year off of school, so that Everett could be a little older when he started school but that was not encouraged at the time.  would i have huge regret for quitting?  would i get bored at home once the kids are all in school?  the thought of being bored seems so foreign, i cant imagine not finding a thousand things to do.....

for now i am starting my day of studying.  we have our routine (for now).  i play with Everett from 5:30-7:30am, go to school and study from 8-6 and rush home to get 2 more hours in with him before bed time and a few more hours of study.  not nearly enough time with him but it will have to do for now.  so this morning i left my sweet smiling boy in the arms of his wonderful grandma, i am such a lucky girl.
Morning Play Time

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

2 months... and a half!

There are so many things to update on and so little time these days.  I have been studying for the first step of medical boards, which happen between second and third year, and trying to still be a good mommy.  I am putting in about 9-10hrs at school and then I head home for a little dinner, feed Everett, bedtime (my favorite) and then a few more hours of studying.  I feel like I am missing way too much time with my little one.  It is hard to feel like I am doing a good job anywhere sometimes.  I feel like a bad medical student when I take time out to be with my family and I feel like a terrible mom when I spend all day away studying.  I am lucky to have such supportive family that is helping to make sure Everett is getting love and attention while mom is away all day.  I want to update my posts on everything that has been happening (mostly a ton of study and a lot of debate about what next), but for now here is my sweet little boy.  Already almost 3months old.  He is getting big way too fast, already busting out of those 3mo onesies.  Everyday is a new adventure with him and I look forward to all of the fun he has in store for us!



Friday, June 14, 2013

this moment



{this moment} - "A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see."

Sunday, June 2, 2013

this moment

{this moment} - "A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see."

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

lunch breaks with my superhero...

Spending all day inside studying is a lot easier for me when it is winter, ie dark, cold and generally unpleasant.  But it is weeks like this one that make being trapped at a desk seem like punishment.  It is summer time in the southeast and beautiful out.  Not too hot yet and clear blue skys.  I am trying to find balance between studying for my boards and being a new mom.  When I am with Everett I am worried about studying (ok to be honest he makes me smile so much I can easily forget about everything else in the world) and when I am studying I feel like a bad mom.  Right now I get up at 5am and feed him and we play a little.  Then from 8-12pm I study at school.  As soon as 12pm hits I rush home to my smiling little boy and immediately wrap him up in my arms.  I really cant get enough of him.  The lunch hour flies by and then we do it all over again.  Going back to school and leaving him is so hard but I feel so lucky every time I get back home.  Today we sat on the porch and giggled while we practiced our superheroing....

Friday, May 24, 2013

this moment



{this moment} - "A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see."

happy first mothers day

i woke up mother's day to a squirming everett and the smell of pancakes.  not a bad way to start the day.  my wonderful husband got up early and made mother's day blueberry pancakes, veggie sausage, and homemade whip cream.  our first mother's day was really nice.  although i spent much of the day studying i did get to cuddle with everett in the morning, have a fantastic breakfast and go for a hike with my man.  not a bad way to spend the day.....

beautiful flowers from my wonderful husband


Sweet boy, practicing his smile for mommy:)

my little boxer

first mother's day roses from my sweet little brother


my everett measuring 23in at 6weeks!  growing like a weed...

Saturday, May 11, 2013

this moment




{this moment} - "A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see."
....but i couldn't pick just one:)

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

wrong amount of knowledge...

As a medical student I know just enough to scare me.  When something seems off I immediately go to worst case.  It seems that part of being an actual doctor means getting to a place where you know when to worry and when to leave well enough alone. My pregnancy happened to coincide perfectly with our reproductive block in school.  We learned about the thousands of things that can go wrong during each of the stages of your babies development and all of the ways your labor can take a turn for the worse.  I would text my husband almost daily during classed in a complete panic begging for another ultrasound.  Yes, I said another because I had insisted on several.  For example, a babies intestines spend several weeks growing outside of the stomach and at about 10weeks when there is enough room for them go back into the stomach hopefully that is what they do.  SO at 10weeks I had to make sure that our little ones intestines were exactly where they were supposed to be.  Thomas said ultrasounds were supposed to be a fun exciting event but he would spend the entire time stressed because he knew I was inspecting every inch of our baby for something to be wrong.  I would count vertebra, and ventricles, look at heart valves and chambers and still no peace of mind.  When Everett was born I cannot even begin to describe to relief to see his perfect little form.  Growing a person is an unbelievable thing.  There are countless ways for things to go wrong that are completely out of our control and only one way for them to all go right... and they do!  Most of the time everything goes exactly as it should and this still blows my mind.  So today when our sitter casually mentioned that Everett had not really had a good bowel movement my mind immediately went to the various forms of GI obstruction that occur in newborns.  So far Everett has been the king of bowel movements, for him to go most of the day without one is unusual.  I had to fight the urge to call a friend who is one of the best pediatric critical care docs I know and insist on abdominal imaging.  Luckily I made no such call because with a huge grin Everett filled his pants like a champ.  Leave it to my boy for his first real big smile to be a "haha mom here is that poop you wanted!"  Hopefully someday I will have enough knowledge to know when not to worry....

Here are some pictures of us working on our smile. Sorry they are a little fuzzy we were too excited about our farts to stay still!





Saturday, May 4, 2013

this moment

{this moment} - "A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see."

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Burns, party of three!

39 wks and ready!
When I went in for my 39wk OB visit I told the doc I was ready to have this baby.  The man and I had spent a couple of days hiking around at home (the mountains of western NC) & my spring break was ending on Monday.  I needed to be able to settle in and start studying for the first step of my medical boards in July.  Not to mention by this point I was feeling huge, needing to run and ready to reclaim my body.  The doctor told me we would wait out the weekend and if I had not had him then we would talk about inducing on Tuesday.  Having a plan and feeling like I knew when the baby would come was very appealing to my need for scheduling and organizing, just not knowing when he would come was really making me crazy.  On Friday night we went to the movies and made fun plans for the rest of the weekend, including fancy easter brunch at American Grocery Restaurant in Greenville, SC. 
At 2am on Saturday morning I started having what I told the man was stomach cramps.  I had a stomach bug a few days before and was convinced this was just more GI distress. Yes, I was in total denial.  By 6am I was still having stomach pain when Thomas looked at me and said "seriously Jamie, stomach cramps every 6min?  Can we please call the hospital?"  I reluctantly agreed.  Being a medical student I was terrified of going to the hospital and telling them I was in labor only to have them tell me I was actually just having gas.   I will be rotating at this hospital in the fall and did not want to be the future doctor that does not know the difference between contractions and gas!  When I talked to the on-call nurse she she said "so you are due now and having contractions every 6min?  Yes, you are probably in labor and can go ahead and come to the hospital."  I still was not convinced but I told her we would start to make our way there.  With the hospital being so close to our house I did not feel very rushed yet.  At this point the contractions were not very intense.  Instead of rushing to the hospital I asked Thomas to vacuum and clean the kitchen.  If we were going to have a new baby I did not want to bring him home to a dirty kitchen.  Funny the things that go through your head in those moments.  2hrs later we made our way to the hospital.  On the drive over I told Thomas we should go through the Starbucks drive-through because it would be a while before he would be able to get a cup of coffee & food.  Little did I know at the drive through window I would have my first serious contraction.  When the girl handed Thomas his coffee and said his sandwich would be a few minutes, it was all I could do not to yell at her that we were in a rush!  Finally at 9am we made it to the hospital. We were put in an evaluation room where they decide if your labor has progressed enough to be admitted to the hospital.  Normally you are in this room for about an hour.  After first hour the nurse came in and explained to us that we had not been admitted yet because I was having contractions but not cervical changes, which is the definition of true labor, having both contractions and dilation.  Also she said the baby is not moving as much as they would like for him to be.  They asked when my last meal had been and I could feel Thomas roll his eyes at this.  I am, admittedly, really bad at food.  I do not eat regular meals and I can go a while between meals, I just get distracted and forget.  When we told the nurse the last time I ate was 6pm  the night before I could feel her holding in a laugh.  "Of course your baby is not moving very much, your blood sugar is too low!"  She brought me a giant orange juice that I gulped down and it felt like junior started doing jumping jacks.  After 2 hrs in this room the nurse came back and said if I had not started to dilate they were going to have Thomas take me for a walk.  This was the first, and only, time that I laughed.  The distress on Thomas' face at the suggestion of taking me for a walk, while I was curled up in a ball sobbing, was priceless.  He is too nice to say it but I could see him sending mental messages to the nurse of 'I dont think so' or 'are you for real?"  I have never begged, literally begged, to be admitted to the hospital before.  Thankfully this time I was in fact actually "in labor."  Up until this point I had said I was not going to have an epidural, I know everyone has an opinion about pain management during labor, after having been in the situation I will have to say to each their own.  At this point I would have agreed to anything that would lessen the pain, I honestly did't think I would make it through the rest of the day and then still have enough energy to push.

By 11:30, having been admitted and transfered into the delivery room, the nurse anesthetist came with the epidural.  I told her she was my new best friend.  I even think I said I was going to quit medical school and be a pharmaceutical rep for epidurals.  By around noon when the epidural kicked in, it was a different world.  Basically, the epidural made my body not hurt as much, without affecting me mentally or making me feel drugged in the least.  For a few hours, we were in our nice cozy delivery room watching the NCAA tournament.  Eventually the nurse came in and told me were going to start pushing a little, so I did.  A little while later the doc came in, and said "looks like this baby will be here in about 20 minutes."  Sure enough, that's about how much longer it took.  Little Everett came out kickin', eyes wide open, and ready to go.  We were blessed with a healthy, beautiful baby boy.  





40wks

this moment

{this moment} - "A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see."

Friday, April 19, 2013

this moment

{this moment} - "A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see."

Saturday, March 9, 2013

so you want to be a doctor....



medical school is hard.  i know, thank you captain obvious.  but seriously, going into it you know that, everyone tells you that, you expect it, yet it still hits you every day just how hard it is.  we are heading into the final stretch of year two and I will be pretty glad to finish this chapter.  i try not wish my time away but this one is difficult.  at the end of year two we take step one of our medical school boards.  yes, step one, meaning that there are multiple board exams that we get to take and this is the first one.  we are constantly tested in medical and somehow no matter how much or hard you study there is always more to know.  this test comes with an increasing amount of pressure.  i am constantly reminded of how important this result is.  i must first pass step one to be allowed to continue to third year, a given, but also it is this early in the process, just half way through school, that much of our path as a physician is decided.  the score on this one test will play a role in what my options for residency are.  it is a cloud constantly hanging over my head.  over the next two weeks we have 6 tests in various classes mostly focused on different aspects of hematology and I try to stay focused on these exams, looking at them as studying for step one, but in the back of my mind all i can think about is BOARDS!  after these tests we have spring break and the debate among my classmates: to study or relax?  we know that the following three months will be nothing but intense study, can we afford a week to prepare our minds for that?  for me the question is complicated by the fact that i am currently 36 weeks pregnant!  yep, we are having a baby!  so my spring break plan.... have this baby!  people keep asking me if I have my hospital bag packed yet... nope; do i have the nursery ready....nope; do i have a birth plan.... um.... have the baby at the hospital; but i do know a lot about red blood cells....

wife, 3 sweet dogs, a little boy on the way, and medical school.  i am a very lucky girl.  this year will be about balance.  balance between my home life and school.  we (the man and I) have a ton to figure out about the next year with him working full time and me starting my 3rd year of medical school but for now one day at a time.


Friday, March 8, 2013

this moment

{this moment} - "A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see."